Part 3
ANNIVERSARY
Today’s the day. We celebrate our sixth year together. I’m on my way to see her. I’ve never bought jewelry for her; always unsure what to buy, and the price of these things always intimidate me. No matter how much I browse, it’s always like there’s so much to choose from, and soon I become unsure which would be perfect. This year however, I believe I’ve found the perfect one. It set me back quite a bit, but I guess it’s worth it. I saw it a couple of weeks back, and staring at it only made it seem more and more perfect. It’s a pendant, made from white gold, in the shape of a star and filled with diamonds.
I wrote her something as well. I guess thinking back on our relationship made me relive everything once more, and all that reminiscing culminated into a need to tell her how much I love her. She’s a special one, and she should know, because without her, my life would be different.
There she is, as beautiful as ever. That picture of her shows so much of her that is beautiful. Her radiant smile, her gaiety, her sunshine and light.
I never made it in time. The driver of the car was having a phone conversation whilst driving, and never saw the light turn red. He slammed right into her and sent her flying. Her back was badly injured and her head suffered intense trauma. Her skull was broken and bleeding within. The doctors said that she should have died on the spot, but somehow, lived just that little longer, enough to get her to a hospital, enough for her parents to see her breathe her last. I never made it in time.
Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, her being unconscious while still alive. She wouldn’t have known if I was there. But I guess to me, it means a great difference whether or not she was breathing when I arrived. Maybe she could still hear me. Just hear me say goodbye.
What pains me the most, is that in her time of greatest need, when her fall was the worst, I wasn’t there to catch her. I broke my promise. That one singular promise that meant so much to our relationship. That one promise that I sought to uphold. And even if I couldn’t stop the accident, I should have been the one there to cradle her in my arms as she laid there, her life ebbing out of her. I should have been the one to hold her and rock her softly as she slowly entered the dark unknown we call death. But I wasn’t there. All I could do was hold her lifeless hand, and kiss her forehead lightly as I bade goodbye to the one and only girl in my life.
It’s strange actually. They say that when someone you love, your other half, passes away, it feels as though one half of your soul or your being is painfully ripped out from within you. I felt no pain. There was no ripping of my soul. Perhaps it’s because she didn’t leave. She still lives strongly within me. A nice, lingering presence, bring back memory after memory, eliciting smiles and tears from me. And there she’ll always stay.
I place her present, wrapped in black paper and tied with a white ribbon, before her gravestone. The letter I place next to the present. I smile unconsciously, as I look at her smiling face, leaning against the gravestone. Tears make a tiny path down my face. I sit cross-legged on the ground, and in a shaky voice, start to sing the song that meant so much to us.
I finish my song, and hear footsteps behind me. Her parents are here. Her mother smiles at me, and tells me that was beautiful. I smile sadly at her, and her father places his hand upon my shoulder and squeezes it. I turn back towards her, and I just sit there, staring.
I will never need anything to remind me of her. She is still all that matters to me. I will live her share of life for her. Will I find someone else? It’s too early to say, because right now I will tell you no, that I still love her, that I always will. And even if I did move on, I will never love anyone as much as I did her. And if so, what’s the point? Nobody can ever take her place. No one at all. She’s still my everything. This love transcends death.
My only wish is that wherever she went to, there was someone there to catch her. Fulfill the promise that I couldn’t keep. Make her fall easier.
Goodbye my angel.
I wrote her something as well. I guess thinking back on our relationship made me relive everything once more, and all that reminiscing culminated into a need to tell her how much I love her. She’s a special one, and she should know, because without her, my life would be different.
There she is, as beautiful as ever. That picture of her shows so much of her that is beautiful. Her radiant smile, her gaiety, her sunshine and light.
I never made it in time. The driver of the car was having a phone conversation whilst driving, and never saw the light turn red. He slammed right into her and sent her flying. Her back was badly injured and her head suffered intense trauma. Her skull was broken and bleeding within. The doctors said that she should have died on the spot, but somehow, lived just that little longer, enough to get her to a hospital, enough for her parents to see her breathe her last. I never made it in time.
Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, her being unconscious while still alive. She wouldn’t have known if I was there. But I guess to me, it means a great difference whether or not she was breathing when I arrived. Maybe she could still hear me. Just hear me say goodbye.
What pains me the most, is that in her time of greatest need, when her fall was the worst, I wasn’t there to catch her. I broke my promise. That one singular promise that meant so much to our relationship. That one promise that I sought to uphold. And even if I couldn’t stop the accident, I should have been the one there to cradle her in my arms as she laid there, her life ebbing out of her. I should have been the one to hold her and rock her softly as she slowly entered the dark unknown we call death. But I wasn’t there. All I could do was hold her lifeless hand, and kiss her forehead lightly as I bade goodbye to the one and only girl in my life.
It’s strange actually. They say that when someone you love, your other half, passes away, it feels as though one half of your soul or your being is painfully ripped out from within you. I felt no pain. There was no ripping of my soul. Perhaps it’s because she didn’t leave. She still lives strongly within me. A nice, lingering presence, bring back memory after memory, eliciting smiles and tears from me. And there she’ll always stay.
I place her present, wrapped in black paper and tied with a white ribbon, before her gravestone. The letter I place next to the present. I smile unconsciously, as I look at her smiling face, leaning against the gravestone. Tears make a tiny path down my face. I sit cross-legged on the ground, and in a shaky voice, start to sing the song that meant so much to us.
I finish my song, and hear footsteps behind me. Her parents are here. Her mother smiles at me, and tells me that was beautiful. I smile sadly at her, and her father places his hand upon my shoulder and squeezes it. I turn back towards her, and I just sit there, staring.
I will never need anything to remind me of her. She is still all that matters to me. I will live her share of life for her. Will I find someone else? It’s too early to say, because right now I will tell you no, that I still love her, that I always will. And even if I did move on, I will never love anyone as much as I did her. And if so, what’s the point? Nobody can ever take her place. No one at all. She’s still my everything. This love transcends death.
My only wish is that wherever she went to, there was someone there to catch her. Fulfill the promise that I couldn’t keep. Make her fall easier.
Goodbye my angel.
* * *
You’ve always called me your angel. Maybe now finally I can be as such.
END
posted by Kevin @ 8:00 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:22 AM,
Anonymous said…
i am crying! that was so sweet! ^-^
thank you so much for writing this story... it was plain and simple, but with sooo much raw emotion.
keep on singing...
Post a Comment
<< Home